Life in uni abroad is i guess you could say so far so good. In terms of adapting i guess i’m surviving. On the surface stuff seems to go ok, but when i just take a breather, i see that i’ve just been trying to complete this, and that. Go for orientation, see your advisor, go and buy stuff, get the books, go to class, get the homework done, get the readings done. It just never stops, i know that it’s all about scheduling and honestly i’m pretty good at that, it’s just that…. i just feel that i’m doing and not living. It comes to a point where i’m just trying to create a routine for myself SO that i can relax, very oxymoron-ish sounding eh. And one night i was just thinking and thought what if all this busyness, however ‘normal’ it may seem to the world is just a ploy to get me further away from God? yeah i know it’s not a mind blowing idea, the idea has been there already and it seems logical, but hey, how many of us can stick to remembering that without just slipping in to the routine all over again. Seriously, in a world where God is slowly pushed out of, it is pretty easy to fall into that trap. And now i’m just so thankful to God for never being too busy for me, always looking out and He’s so good, providing many nice people around me, just guiding me through even though i don’t know it. I mean, how i managed to finished that 158 page reading assignment in 1 day is a miracle in itself yeah? He’s protected me, kept me well and warm. And the house too, so fast and the first one too, i was just thinking to myself, this can’t be happening, but it is! and when you’re in a absolutely new place, a new chapter in your life, i’m just glad i’ve got God watching my back, because the God of angel armies, is always by my side. I know who goes before me, i know who stands behind, the God of angel armies, he is a friend of mine. (Chris tomlin’s song).
The thing about bringing two luggage bags for your studies overseas is that…..it’s TWO luggage bags. In normal circumstances this would be ok i guess, makes you really think about what is really needed and what isn’t. The problem i face is that i have to pack for 4 seasons in which i have only encountered 2, winter and summer. And i guess i could just come back to Malaysia for the holidays but to think about the distance and the time and the money required to come back and go, it’s a nightmare. I would love to come back, but i just don’t see the possibility at this time. My goal is to finish as soon as i can while pursuing a double degree, i would also love to do an internship to have some practical aspect of my major and at the same time, travel too. Right, did i mention i’m thinking of learning french? Yeah i think i’m filling my plate up to the brim and i haven’t even started anything, who knows if anything i say in this post will actually happen. I’m not trying to be pessimistic, but i’m a realist, a hardcore one at that and it’s kinda hard when there’s so many variables. However, i do believe in a God who does the unthinkable miracles and who has time and time again shown me in my life that he always has something good up His sleeves for me. Alright, just to elaborate, me, i’m a person who doesn’t like to be bored, i get really annoyed if someone wastes my time, i cannot be idle in other words. And sometimes this is a bad thing, where people act the way i predict they will and i get annoyed because it was predictable. That is something i really am working hard to change, but back to the point, God, well He’s never predictable and that’s one thing i Love. There were times in my life that i just thought i that i really got myself into one big mess, i’m thinking about my second semester last year where i took 5 subjects, out of which 3 were heavy reading ones and oh yeah, ended up as director of a play too. Well let’s just say, my lecturer even asked me why i took such a heavy courseload. But you know what, those were very trying days where all that time i talked about “changing my attitude”, that was the stage, where i was hit back with my own words and challenged to do what i said. I also had to make tough decisions, the kinds where only you make the final call and you live with it. All through that my prayers were just focused on asking God to lead me through it all and also to grant me wisdom. When results came out, they were really good, our play even got the most votes by the crowd, however i think the surprise came a few months later when i was interviewed by a lady who works with the university magazine. That was where i really got to reflect on what had happened from the end perspective (because i was typing out my response to her questions and much of it centred around the things i learnt and the challenges i faced) and i just saw Gods hand in every one of those moments. He sent his help in so many ways through friends who just gave a listening ear everytime i talked about the problems i faced and also offered really good advice and perspective, He protected me and everyone else as we went home really late after practice, He gave us all the strength to go through all that stress and still write decent papers XD.
LOL i don’t know how this post went from a packing rant to a reflection of year 2012, at least one part of it. Since we are on the subject, i should mention one verse that was placed in my heart in the beginning of the year.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
This verse is what brought me through the second semester, through what happened to the family at the end of the year and i’m really grateful for it. It was like a forewarning and also an assurance at the same time. At the same time at the end of the year, at watchnight service in church, ‘Cornerstone’ by hillsong was sung and i felt the words were so apt for not just the year but also life itself.
“through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all” oh how these words are so true and as Christ as my cornerstone i’m ready, just set to face this new chapter in my life.