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Originally posted on 6/12/11

1. It never starts on time; the guests are left starving and end up cranky. I’m sorry, it may be your wedding day but the whole world doesn’t need to wait for you to start eating. And when they finally come, everyone HAS to stand up for them, clap and force up a smile, “You came late and you want me to clap for that? And i’m hungry, so walk faster already.”

2. The many courses served are boring, you’ll always have the four season, sharks fin, prawn, chicken, fish, pork, glutinous rice, vegetables, and dessert comprising of longan soup/cold soup/ red bean soup/ random soup and the red bean/ peanut butter/kaya pastries or glutinous balls.

3. You separate people by how ‘important’ they are, this happens when you arrange their seats, obviously the ones sitting nearer to the V.I.P table are more important.

4. Guests have to give angpau and seriously some people give hardly enough to help you cover the cost and you go “Why am I friends with them again?” or “How am I remotely related to them?” Plus, I think it’s kind of redundant in a sense where you are invited for someone’s wedding dinner, but you ‘pay’ for your food in angpau. Just trying to cover both sides here.

5. The noisy ‘yam seng’ moments. It is tradition where the bridal party go to every table and do a ‘yam seng’ toast with the table members. This includes shouting the word “yam” as long as you can hold it and end it with a “seng” in unison (hopefully). Noisy, boisterous and absolutely irritating as it would already be 10 p.m (since the dinner started late) add this to the rising headache and you would be begging the chef to serve the dessert.

6. Sitting with people you don’t know. Let’s face it; they can’t always put you with your friends because they have to filter everyone by association and position, so you may just end up with a bunch of people you don’t know. Sure it’s a good opportunity to make friends but well, I’m already irritated that the dinner started late and I’m out of conversation topics. Go figure.

7. Cold food. Dinner started late remember?

8. Fake cakes. Because after spending thousands of dollars per table you just couldn’t afford that 5 tiered cake. Most of the time, the wedding cake you see displayed is fake, some have the decency to have a slice that is real for the couple, others just give you a slot to pretend to cut the cake. As a guest who loves cake, I would love to have a slice of that after the cold food, but no, I’m just left disappointed.

9. Performances. Most of the time you’ll have some people just doing a song, then you’ll have the baby to adult pictures of the bride and groom. Maybe a funny video, just the same old routine. On the other hand, if you’re the performer, and your performance is one of the last ones, well you’ll definitely NOT have an appetite to eat, all that anxiousness eating you up.

10. Drunk people. Wine is served, yes. I noticed that in bore dome, you tend to drink more, so thus, the reason why many people get drunk. And they have to drive back home, whoopee for responsibility.

In conclusion, i wrote this to rant and well if you want to have a chinese wedding dinner, i didn’t say i was going to stop you. Personally i’ve already planned NOT to have a chinese wedding dinner, that probably means i better find a guy who’s not so traditionally chinese and whose family is the same. Hmmm kinda leaves me to everyone outside of Asia. I believe that it IS your wedding day so whatever you do should be unique to yourself, i mean you are going to look back on this day for, oh well, the rest of your life. I want to look back without regrets of having to oblige to other people’s wants just because it’s tradition and i can proudly say “I did it my way” (reference to a song).

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